


Baby Blue

by wrackwonder



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 16:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11740398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrackwonder/pseuds/wrackwonder
Summary: In the midst of 2x09, Nicole has some time to think, which proves to be a dangerous past time.





	Baby Blue

Nicole stared at the ceiling long after the alarm had sounded. Nedley had given her the day off, despite the fact that she’d begged for an extra shift. Purgatory was never quiet, not really, and Nicole wanted to be active and busy as much as possible. Except she’d apparently exceeded some sort of union law and was now trapped in her house until the next day.

 

What she had now was time. And quiet. And they had both combined to make her feel like the world had ended, which she herself had to admit was a bit dramatic, but she may have lost Waverly Earp so apocalyptic thoughts were to be expected.

 

The DNA results from the lab had arrived at lunchtime and Nicole had tucked it away in her desk drawer. She had intended to give it to Waverly that night, except Waverly was busy with Wynonna and the letter was just sitting in Nicole’s purse and Nicole wanted to prepare Waverly, she wanted to be supportive and know exactly what to say and then she was suddenly tearing open the envelop and reading the results in the break room and…

 

The results were not good. At all. And Nicole found that she couldn’t even begin to know what to say to Waverly. So she did nothing. And it had probably cost her the love of her life.

 

“Dramatic idiot,” she mumbled towards the ceiling, reaching up to push back her hair.

 

Waverly had been one of the first people Nicole had seen in Purgatory. Waverly was obviously beautiful and sexy, but it was what she had been doing that had caught Nicole’s attention. Because in between serving drinks at Shorty’s, Nicole overheard the pretty bartender reciting grammar charts. In Latin.

 

Nicole had watched for a moment while Nedley gave her the town tour and there was this _girl_ , in pigtails and a crop top and Daisy Duke shorts, carrying a loaded tray in one hand and a bound hardcover in the other. It was the first time that Nicole had felt good about her decision to move to Purgatory, the first time she thought that leaving the big city could be something positive and rewarding.

 

And now Nicole was starting to realize that while she was busy learning to like Purgatory, Purgatory certainly didn’t like her. It wasn’t small town attitudes, far from it. It was the fact that Nicole was _normal_. Far more normal than she’d ever believed herself to be. Because as a queer woman in a male-dominated industry, Nicole had felt different for as long as she could remember. In Purgatory, she felt different because she had no history with the town and because she wasn’t a demon or a demon hunter. Because she wasn’t an Earp or an immortal or a dragon.

 

She was just Nicole. She woke up everyday at 6AM sharp. She liked to iron her pants before going to bed. She drove the speed limit and she rarely drank and she tried to be a good person. Which in Purgatory apparently made her a pariah, something strange, or worse, someone silly, someone deserving of incredulous looks and laughter. She’d seen how Wynonna looked at her sometimes. How Rosita looked at her. How people would express surprise if she did _anything_ risky or naughty. Everyone except Waverly Earp.

 

Every single day it felt like she was trying to keep up, to fit in, to find her place amongst the supernatural creatures that called Purgatory home. And Waverly made her feel like she fit…at least sometimes.

 

She remembered the last time Waverly had come over, the last time she’d felt like her life was on track and happy. It had been a particularly frustrating day on the job – the former Black Badge Division had stolen a case right out from under her and after watching Wynonna and Waverly skip away with a rocket launcher, Nicole was forced to spend the rest of the day doing paperwork under Nedley’s watchful eye. Except Waverly had shown up later that night, breathless and wide-eyed and talking a mile-a-minute.

 

_“It was like an octopus head, but on a real guy, I can’t explain it, but I’m pretty sure we swallowed, like, a gallon of sea-water, totally worth it, by the way…”_

_Nicole was mesmerized, barely following her girlfriend’s conversation, instead content to watch Waverly twirl around her living room._

_“Nicole?”_

_“Huh?” Nicole let her eyes focused and found Waverly staring at her, an amused grin on her perfect features._

_“Are you listening?”_

_“Of course! Something about an octopus?”_

_“Baby!” Waverly pushed Nicole back and crawled onto her lap. It took a moment to adjust, but Waverly quickly settled and Nicole set her hands lightly on her girlfriend’s hips, lifting the hem of her shirt slightly so she could run her fingers along a tantalizing sliver of warm, soft skin._

_“Sorry! I’m listening. I swear.”_

_“No, hey, what’s going on in that beautiful head?” Waverly pressed a playful kiss to Nicole’s forehead in emphasis._

_“It’s stupid. Seriously, baby, don’t worry about it.”_

_“It’s not stupid if it’s upsetting you,” Waverly said._

_Nicole sighed and shrugged her shoulders. Waverly made her weak – not in a bad way – but all control she seemed to have disappeared when Waverly looked at her. For someone that needed control, it could be frightening and exciting all at the same time._

_“Am I boring?” she asked. She grimaced as soon as the words were out and felt herself blush. It was such a vulnerable question and Nicole immediately wanted to say something else, pretend she had never mentioned anything at all, but Waverly’s eyebrows had shot up so high and it looked like she was getting ready to start talking and never stop so Nicole just squeezed the shapely hips in her hands and inhaled sharply, bracing for whatever came next._

_“Boring?” Waverly looked so surprised and had leaned back so far that Nicole thought she might tip off the couch._

_“It’s just…compared to you and your sister and…everyone…”_

_“What? Nicole…”_

_“So I may have overheard Wynonna making fun of how shiny my shoes are, except shoe maintenance is a real thing and it’s important and…”_

_Waverly burst into laughter and Nicole felt her stomach sink. Why did Purgatory feel so much like high school? Why did her every move make her feel like the town’s biggest loser, like everyone was secretly laughing at her? Was she that terrible?_

_“Thanks, Waves,” she said, making a move to push the smaller woman off her lap, but Waverly held on tight and shook her head, her eyes wide with disbelief._

_“You are so not boring, Nicole…how could you even say that?”_

_“Oh, gee, I don’t know? Maybe because your sister is a demon hunter and she’s friends with an immortal gunslinger and a magical lizard man and I’m just…well, I’m just me.”_

_“Baby, you’re the most interesting person I know. Don’t you realize that?” Waverly was still looking at her with a mix of confusion and wonder and Nicole felt some of her hurt subside._

_“That’s really sweet, Baby, but…”_

_“No, it’s not sweet, it’s the truth!”_

_Waverly pulled away and was suddenly twirling around the living room, a tiny hurricane pointing and laughing and pausing in front of Nicole’s shelves and walls._

_“You’ve been to the ocean! And you fought a forest fire! And you’re an amazing cop, like…okay I have read a lot of true crime books and you are super up there with the best detectives…”_

_“Okay, but…”_

_“Nicole, you’re real. You’re so real and I love that about you.”_

 

_Waverly came to a pause in front of Nicole, her shadow making it feel to Nicole like she was completely encapsulated in her girlfriend’s presence, like in the absence of light, Waverly was her sun._

_“I’m just being silly,” Nicole said, but then Waverly was on her lap again and Waverly’s hands were cradling her face._

_“You are so caring and so smart, and so amazing, Nicole.”_

_“Babe…”_

_“And no one has ever treated me the way you do. No one has ever seen me like you do.”_

_Nicole swallowed hard because Waverly’s face was so close and she was being so sincere._

_“You scare me,” she heard herself confessing, but Waverly didn’t move, if anything she seemed impossibly closer._

_“You scare me too,” Waverly said._

_Nicole didn’t want to say that she wished Waverly would stop putting herself in danger, that she wished Waverly wouldn’t spend her days close to death because that would be asking Waverly not to be herself. And Nicole loved Waverly as she was. But it was starting to feel like she couldn’t afford to lose Waverly, like losing Waverly would cost Nicole more than she ever wanted to fathom. And it was making her wonder what she would do to protect this woman, what she would give._

_What Nicole said instead was, “I want you” because explaining what she meant by that, unpacking it, listing all the ways she wanted Waverly would be too much. I want your body. I want every single part of you. I want you to be safe. I want you to stop running into danger. I want you all the time, everyday, for the rest of my life…_

_Waverly responded with a kiss, her arms naturally falling onto Nicole’s shoulders as Nicole leaned back into the couch, pulling Waverly with her._

_“So not boring,” Waverly mumbled against Nicole’s mouth, and then Nicole decided she didn’t want to talk anymore. Not when Waverly rolled her hips, not when Waverly’s body rubbed against Nicole’s stomach. Not with Waverly under her hands._

Calamity Jane pawed at Nicole’s face, interrupting her memories of that particular evening at the worst possible moment.

 

“I’m pathetic, I know,” Nicole said. The cat didn’t even mewl in response.

 

“Did you hear the messages I left her?”

 

Again the cat didn’t even blink.

 

“And did you hear what she sent to me? Am I a control freak? I mean…I probably deserve that? Right?”

 

This time Calamity Jane hissed and scampered off the bed.

 

“Traitor!” Nicole called after her, but it was far past the time she’d usually be dressed and ready and lying around was making her feel worse. She carefully tucked the sheets beneath her mattress, smoothing the comforter as she did every morning. She wondered if Waverly had told Rosita about how Nicole always made the bed, if they were laughing at her right now. Sometimes it felt like they were all laughing at her behind her back.

 

She felt herself tear up and then frowned because the last thing she wanted to do was cry. Even as she pulled on a pair of jeans and a blue button-up that Waverly favoured, she found herself holding back tears.

 

“You are a grown-ass woman,” she said to herself between washing her face and fixing her hair. “Grow some ovaries, Haught!”

 

The reflection in the mirror didn’t look keen on that idea. There was no one to call – her friends in the city were all at work and her friends in Purgatory were actually Waverly’s friends. She had her cat. And she had Nedley, but Nedley always turned slightly green at the merest hint of “lady trouble.” She knew Waverly’s last text had likely been the result of too much alcohol, but it stung. It stung horribly. She also knew that Waverly Earp was voted the nicest person in Purgatory so maybe, eventually, she’d at least talk to Nicole?

 

“Can’t say I blame her,” Nicole said when Calamity appeared around the corner of the bathroom door.

 

“I messed up. And then I told her that I loved her for the first time like that? _The worst_.”

 

She heard her phone buzz then, clattering against her night table, and even Calamity Jane paused and widened her eyes. The cat and its human exchanged a surprised glance and Nicole froze in her place.

 

“You think it’s her?”

 

Calamity coughed.

 

“Okay, I’m going to check.”

 

She had one new notification. One new notification from Ms. Waverly Earp.

 

 _Waverly: I’m coming over_.

 

Waverly was coming over. They were going to talk. Or maybe Waverly would talk and break up with her forever. Or maybe Waverly would give her a chance to explain and Nicole could finally say that she was sorry. That she’d made a terrible mistake. That she’d acted out of a selfish need to protect Waverly and its something she would work on. That she loved her more than she had ever loved anyone and it made her act stupid and she would do anything to gain Waverly’s trust back. That Waverly was perfect to her, regardless of the DNA results, regardless of what they meant.

 

Nicole stood in her bedroom thinking of all the things she was going to say, of all the ways this day could go. She stood in her bedroom until she heard a knock on her front door and with a loud gulp and a deep breath she set down her phone and prepared to meet her fate.

 

“Waves?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Episodes 8 and 9 have certainly seen some interesting character moments. I hope this captures some of what may have been going through Nicole's mind while she was offscreen.
> 
> As always, your comments mean the world to me. Please, if you have a second, let me know how I'm doing!
> 
> Also, shout out to my gal pal who agrees that kissing revenants in a jacuzzi is no way to deal with relationship problems.
> 
> Title from the song 'Baby Blue' - give it a listen!


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